I have heard females complaining about various aspects of the society. I totally agree with them that males have manipulated the law of society for own gain. Also, large part of the problem can be attributed to the historical reasons and evolution of society where power played an important role than any human endeavor. Although, I totally understand their concerns and fully empathize with them but I think the responsibility of the current situation lies with females also. The concerns raised by them are complex and interlinked, so every issue can not be isolated from other.
Dowry system in India – This is major issue that our government is struggling to eradicate for a long time since 1950 and even before that social activists were opposed to this. Despite of that even today females are married with dowry, and its not the case just for the uneducated mass without any empowerment. Majority of educated females still go through rigorous process of scrutiny before the marriage by her in-laws and then marries as per family wishes by paying dowry along with humiliation to her family members during every stage of marriage process. There are many reasons for that.
First even people involved in love relationship want to get married under traditional system with the wished of family members. So, they must make their parents to agree with the relationship. That is why even the adult and most educated people get into this traditional trap. Even if the country’s constitution treats every person after adulthood as fully responsible for his/her life's decision, it is not so in reality because of people own willingness to surrender their power of wisdom for making family member agree to their decision, and to make a love relationship converted to arranged marriage. The biggest problem of converting love relationship to marriage is caste system. Even after knowing the rigorous and violent system throughout the country, people persist to expect family support for love relationship to be converted to arranged marriages. It is highly improbable that anyone happily agrees to intercaste marriage, even in the upper most caste and upper most class family in all the region of the country. So, it is pure foolishness to expect or demand family agreement to the decision made my young female. The maximum extent that family goes to support the love-cum-marriage relationship under different caste, if not a violent reaction, is the indifference attitude, without any support along with continuous warning what could go wrong in the relationship in future. So, even at the age of 25-30 female demand family support for their relationship and surrender their independence.
Another interlinked problem in the current approach taken by females is the demand of family support in the future after love or love-cum-arranged marriage. Females are traditionally forced to do many things against their will by her in-law family, so she wants family support in case of any trouble. This is completely insane if she had to follow her own decision then why she should look for any family support to sort out the marital issues. Only conclusion that can be drawn from this observation is females themselves are not confident of their decision and don’t want to take ownership of their decision with full responsibility.
If we look further into this issue, female demands that the male partner, under the love relationship should be carrying out all the task of making both family agree with the decision. This is again a traditional view, but the marriage relationship is a shared responsibility, then why should only one member take the full responsibility when both members are looking for their independence in their decision making, especially when they are behaving independently in professional domain. Why female still want to rely on the male member for their life? In a shared relationship both person are responsible for the success or failure of the relationship.
Now comes the property right. Ask any female to which house they belong after marriage, they still perceive as belonging to in-law family after marriage even if they get settled as nuclear family in a distant city. This is totally ridiculous because after marriage they have separate family identity. Even earning female members claims that her family is in-laws home although almost every female wants to help their parental home financially. Females never talk of taking any money or financial help from the parental home even though they have equal property rights as their brothers but they are willing to claim the property right in the in-law's property, may be through her husband. So, when it comes to dowry they claims that it is asked by pressure but when they are requested to claim their inherited property they totally reject the request. So, why should any parents give any claim to her daughter-in-law when their son is getting nothing as son-in-law, if he don’t take dowry. This is largely because of the traditional belief that daughter-in-law belongs to the husband’s family and son-in-law has no rights on the wife’s parental property. The easiest solution to the whole mess could be to get the property rights for husband and wife from their respective families. Like every family there is cost of living, so it does not make sense that male’s family take all the burden of female’s living without asking anything. It could be their generosity if they don’t ask anything. So, here again females are making mistake of claiming all the rights from the in-laws family and not claiming her birth right from her parental family .The important question here could be that females get their share during the growth process and work in the married family. The answer to this question is, they don't get equal share in the growth process as they are discriminated as female child. Also, after marriage both partner works, inside or outside home, and similarly both partner should get similar property right from their parents and share similar burden of old parents.
Ideally in an evolved society, any adult should not demand anything from the parents as their parent have already invested everything for the growth of their children till adulthood. But when private property right is given and inherited by next generation, it has to be equally distributed among males and females.
So, it can be concluded that females are also responsible, not completely though, for their current situation by acting irrationally, They demand family support even after adulthood for marriage, puts males to take leadership of family and making the whole arrangement, ask family support to resolve family issue after marriage, claiming belongingness to their in-laws, demanding financial support from husband’s family and at the same time not taking legal property right from parents. The whole issue is mixed up by double standard followed by the females. I understand that the society is still evolving but when the most educated and empowered class behaves hypocritically, it becomes very difficult to sort out the problem and backward people to catch up with the evolution. I am in not supporting the heavy handed attitude by the society on females and I am totally against taking any violent action against females under any situation, with the belief that an adult person should be able to live in the society without any support what so ever, and only rely on government and their own capability.